the way I see it...

2008-11-23T12:28:00.001-06:00

goodbye blogger.

bizzare

2008-11-15T10:08:00.003-06:00

so, i had the strangest experience driving to iowa this weekend. i had a sudden rush of endophines...and it was terrific! and i think my new goal is to feel that again. and i have a long term goal...i think i want to run in a marathon, 5-10 years from now (hey, not pushing myself...)

anyone up for helping?

sinking...

2008-11-14T09:58:00.002-06:00

just when i thought it would get better, i get pulled under again.

its not fair its not fair its not fair.

this world is cruel.

i would rather drown at this point, and not wake up again. to stop the breathing. to kill the pain. the kill the numbness.

me...

2008-11-13T21:25:00.000-06:00

http://www.evolvingtimes.com/2008/03/22-signs-highly-sensitive-person.htm

Surfacing?

2008-11-13T11:58:00.002-06:00

Okay, so I admit to being to attracted to RP...another one of my consuming imaginary romances I've had during my life (they do fade...I still am attracted to EMc, but the obsession is gone. So, the obsession will fade eventually. Actually, I might pull out of it sooner than later.

I watched an interview with RP (in my endless searches of his face...grrr) by E!. It changed my perspective. The book is a fairy tale (*smacks head*) and I got suckered into it, as it easily tugs at the heart and emotions of any non-feminist young woman. In fact, he explains it as the author thinks of herself as Bella and sees Edward as her fantasy man (she gives a little too much extra attention to his description). So, yeah, a modern fairy tale. That gets a bit repetitive. A lot repetitive.

Either way, I was watching the video and I realized he was very grounded. And that's something I admire. Something I can look up to and strive to achieve. Sometimes, though, my head is such a helium balloon...sigh.

Obsession Subsided...mostly...

2008-11-12T21:41:00.003-06:00

well, wedding's over with...that means, aside from planning for school and procrastinating on my online class work, there is a void in my obsessing. no more wedding planning. no more extensive gift registry checking.

dear lord, who is that god-like human on the cover of Entertainment Weekly? it's robert pattinson. cool. he's hot. oh, neat, he played cedric diggory in the HP movies. wow, he's hot. HOT!

what's that? new movie called twilight...he's a vampire. neat. *more lusting of RP after watching the trailers....drool.* ok, i give in, let's read the book. buy book saturday night. read two chapters. go to bed. wake up sunday and read the rest of the book, nonstop (okay, aside from that trip to target). i want to marry edward. as long as it's RP edward. cannot stop looking up his lustful, deep eyes on google images. *sweat*

distracted with real life. why can't fantasies be real? real life sucks. (well, i'm still at odds about the human race, that hasn't subsided). depression deepens. just want my b back with me in wi.

check out second book, new moon, from school library (what? have all the girls read it already???). spend only two days reading it (even during prep period and lunch). oh come on! will everyone stop loathing on themselves already? "it's my fault sorry." "no it's my fault." on and on and on. and why has bella turned into such a wuss suddenly? if she had cajones in the first book, she lost them in the second.

i finally resurface. omg - okay, i still enjoy book 1, a nice romance book that makes my heart flutter and certain parts tingle...in a safe, non-lustful way....a giddy way. but i'm hesitant to read books 3 and 4. especially 4 - lots of bad reviews. i will read them, but i think my obsession over the books is falling quickly. which is good.

but RP...mmmmmmmmmmmmm...too bad he missed his chance. (what? it's only an 8 year difference! n can justify that age doesn't always matter when dating. although, when he had his chance, he was 13. EWWWW!)

EEK!

2008-08-09T09:13:00.001-05:00

Wedding:

Wedding

2008-07-22T07:44:00.002-05:00

Guest list is small. We have more people not coming than will actually be there. This makes me sad. We have less than 100 people on the list. I was hoping for about 150.

Yeah, I know it will cost less...but will it be as fun?

Iowa

2008-07-09T07:56:00.003-05:00

so b. is moving to iowa after the honeymoon to start a new job. i'm staying in oak creek. it's too soon of a move for me, plus there's no job i'll be going to. rent just doubled for me (it's really not worth paying for a move and breaking a lease).

The big picture

2008-04-24T21:13:00.002-05:00

Something else that really bogs me down is that I too often see the big picture. But I see it with negative glasses, which snowball to every catastrophe.

The Earth is overpopulated. There's no indication that numbers are decreasing. Unless there's a mass die-off, there will be no green space left. I don't think most people realize what a snowball effect something small they do has down the line. If certain bugs die off, then certain plants die off, maybe even crops. Then other animals die off. OK, not a certified expert in ecology, but that's what it comes down to. We're shutting down our ecosystems. We're dooming ourselves. But get the majority of people to believe that? Think again. Well, there's that new doomsday vault in ... Iceland? Greenland? Norway? ... somewhere North and cold. And stable. So probably not Iceland.

I wouldn't mind a virus that wiped out a lot of people. Of course I don't want to be one of them, but I don't think I would have a choice. If it's not a new disease, then will warfare doom us? Will or can be peace ever be achieved? People are greedy, resources are limited. I am doubtful.

Humans are doomed. Face fact. Should we try to limit our resource use? Or should we just splurge until the earth is a big brown stinky mess?

Maslow

2008-04-24T20:47:00.002-05:00

There is a psychological theory known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It is a 5-tiered pyramid that describes that certain basic needs must be met before a person can become self-actualized.

At the base of the pyramid are physiological needs - food, shelter, clothing, etc. The next stage is safety - of self, of property, of resources. Above that is love and belonging - friendships and family. Next comes esteem, topped off by self-actualization.
I believe that I am stuck at the esteem tier. I have little self-esteem and little confidence. I respect others, but I'm not sure if others respect me. I'm not sure there is much of anything to respect.

What's my proof? I feel that every one of my actions is currently self-centered. I feel like I cannot outwardly help and appreciate things (people, actions, deeds, etc) around me. I have a conversation with someone...if I get bored, I start to sense this, lose focus, get quieter, and hope for a way to walk away. When I teach, I think about what basic tasks I need to do (grade, take attendance, sit, stand, organize) rather than what to teach and how to teach it best. This is my main reason that I should not be teaching. How can I outwardly focus on others (a major component of self-actualization) when I cannot stop focusing on myself?

My sister has mentioned that I can be overly sensitive. I do not doubt this one minute. Being so self-focused, anything that disrupts the little control I have on my current mental and physiological status sends me into minor hysterics. I get very beat down when something goes wrong, even something minor. I expect the worst. Or rather, I expect the best, and when it doesn't appear, then I have failed again.

I tend to live my life in the moment. What will satisfy my needs at this given minute or hour or day. When I get home, I don't want to grade assignments; I don't want to plan for the next week; I want to surf the internet, check my e-mail 20 times at night, watch tv, pet the kitties, eat, and go to bed. Teaching is not a job that caters to that after-work lifestyle. Yet another failure, as I see it.

Yet, I feel so comfortable at this self-loathing lack-of-esteem tier. It's not that people have discouraged me...I've had only the best support from friends and family. It's my mental state. It's been this way for a long time. I have had many successes, but yet I still battle with this depression. It's an excuse for not getting things done. It's an excuse to be lazy. To break out of my downspells can be difficult. I'd rather just ride them out until the brain's seratonin kicks back in. It's difficult and uncomfortable to be positive about myself. It's difficult and uncomfortable. I feel like if I do, then I'm being over-the-top cheesy and fake. It's uncomfortable. And knowing this makes me feel like a failure again.

Need to meet some new people

2008-03-27T13:12:00.004-05:00

Okay, don't get defensive. I really like my friends. And I will always hang out with them. Except last movie night, it became clear to me that some of my friends (SB) are still out on the prowl and I am not. I've been settling down for the last few years, whereas she has not. Okay, so I'm speaking mostly of one person. So when we do stuff together, I'm starting to become more uncomfortable with her conversations, which usually involve only one topic. It's just that...we're in different stages of life.

Other friends, though still on the prowl, are calmer and more settled (N and I). And I highly enjoy hanging out with them for more settled activities, like casual drinking and game and movie nights. That don't involved taking off clothing.

Still, that's only two or three other people. Who do I have to fall back on, besides B, when they are busy and I want to do something? That's when I start feeling lonely.

However, where do you find new people that are looking for fun, but not raucous, nights out? They're the people that don't hang out in the clubs and like places. Maybe a local bar; but then there's the smoke and money part. Plus the people that hang out at Oak Creek local bars tend to be, um, trailer trash.

So how and where can I meet new fun-in-a-geeky-way people? Um, without getting addicted to WoW.

echo....

2008-03-20T13:15:00.001-05:00

*sigh*

2008-03-20T10:34:00.001-05:00

can i just die now so i don't have to be faced with the downfall of humanity? or am i too late?

2008-03-19T17:51:00.002-05:00

it's just that....i....ugh....no one ever understands. except b. he usually does.

not that there's anyone else out there to understand. *sigh*

if we ever had to leave the area i'd be screwed.

quiet in bloggerland

2008-03-04T06:02:00.003-06:00

but not that i have anything to say myself.

I saw avenue q on saturday - FANTABULOUS!

job's going well. ups and downs, as usual, probably self-induced.

we got our wedding rings. we registered for gifts (too many?) at BB&B, W&S, and DHMR. we signed contracts for flowers and for limo SUV. i'm about to book hair and make-up. so wedding's going smoothly.

things is good.

2008-02-12T22:11:00.003-06:00

yeah, so, I've been pretty depressed these last few months. I made an appointment with a new therapist (not that I really had another therapist...at least not since 2003). We'll see how it goes.

snow day #4

2008-02-06T16:19:00.000-06:00

but the postal service was out, and we received these today...our toasting flutes!

2008-01-20T22:03:00.000-06:00

so, then, there's this now.

egad

2007-12-08T22:21:00.000-06:00

1 park high student shot and killed last quarter.

1 former park high student, who i kinda knew, shot and killed saturday night.

crime exists. stupid people exist. and you wonder why i'm negative and depressed a lot.

Sounds right

2007-10-25T19:34:00.001-05:00

you are darkslateblue
#483D8B

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy.

Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.

Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

my cats love me

2007-08-27T12:23:00.000-05:00

as they snooze together, sitting next to me on the futon, and obviously dreaming of chasing and eating small prey (the twitching and smacking of the lips gives that away)...it reminds me of this summer. each caught two chipmunks and brought them back to me with that "Aren't you proud of me? I caught us dinner!" look on their faces. Only 1 chipmunk died. Only 1 actually made it into the apartment, in which case it was brought promptly to the kitchen near their food bowls. It's good to know that if there's ever a famine, I have them to rely on.

Feeling Stoopid

2007-08-21T12:39:00.000-05:00

Why does it seem everyone around me understands the business side of teaching, like the union and the administration and what's good and what's not good? I can barely get a grasp on the teaching part itself! And there are people out there with opinions and reasons for their opinions, but I usally have a blank mind. Or I have opinions, and the reasons behind them are absent or lackluster.

I love what I know...I love understanding how the earth works and how big and condescending the universe is and watching my cats and trying to understand why they behave the way they do. That's the stuff I get. It's when you add the business part to life that I get all fandangled and confuddled.

If I had a dream job, I think I would be a pastry chef, but I feel like I'm too old to get into it. Or, it's just not the right time in my life to get into it yet.

I wish B could find his dream job. I think we'd have a lot more energy and be a lot happier then. It makes me feel helpless that he can't find what he wants.

Feeling Left Out

2007-08-21T12:28:00.000-05:00

I have friends, right? B has friends, right? And they're not always the same friends, so there's some variety, right? So, why are we overlooked for fun events, even if it requires a bit of driving? Have I brought this on myself, because of my SAD? Does B get invited and turn them down without telling me? I feel like no one wants to just hang out with me. I feel like it's high school all over again...standing on the outside and looking in, never being asked to do things. I guess born a loser, always a loser, heh?

I mean, really people.

2007-08-18T07:55:00.001-05:00

Pet Strollers???

wedding to-do's

2007-08-12T14:53:00.000-05:00

try on wedding dresses
buy a wedding dress
look at bm dresses
see the dermatologist
see an optometrist or opthamologist

so, what if i change my mind?

2007-08-12T14:51:00.000-05:00

would my bm's be mad if i limited their selection of dresses, say a choice between 3 or 4?

2007-08-11T04:15:00.000-05:00

You are a true nature girl!
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

HP7 - Finished!

2007-08-09T16:38:00.000-05:00

I finished it this afternoon. Very good. A bit sad that there won't be more to read. But I can always start at the beginning again.

As for the epilogue, I didn't mind it at all, except for some of the names. But that's how I imagined it turning out, for the most part.

If anyone would like to discuss, this will be a nice place to do so, unless I hear any protests against it.

potter personality

2007-08-07T12:51:00.001-05:00

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

grumble grumble...

2007-07-30T13:14:00.000-05:00

insomnia again. maybe the third or fourth time in a week? damn mind won't shut off. damn tattoo itching (neither benadryl nor hydrocortisone cream work). just want to sleep!

wedding planning

2007-07-24T09:55:00.000-05:00

we have a photographer! yay!

for more details on planning, check out my KNOT BIO.

actual wedding webpage with travel info, etc. will be ready in a few months.

new ink

2007-07-22T18:02:00.000-05:00

i have some new ink on my ankle!

giggle...kitty!

2007-07-20T13:43:00.000-05:00

Your Score: Lion Warning Cat
75% Affectionate, 68% Excitable, 46% Hungry

You are the good Samaritan of the lolcat world. Protecting others from danger by shouting observations and guidance in cases of imminent threat, you believe in the well-being of everyone.

To see all possible results, checka dis.
Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Videos and More!

2007-07-17T11:11:00.000-05:00

we just came back from visiting brad's maternal relatives in oregon. my future cousins-in-law introduced us to this. heyyyy.

don't know if you've seen this yet. quite amusing but quite disturbing.

new wedding website on its way soon. almost have a photographer! yay!

Summerfest :)

2007-07-06T14:26:00.001-05:00

Went to Summerfest last night to see a few groups. First we saw Willy Porter...always a good time. Next was Keller Williams. He was remarkably talented, and attracted a lot...A LOT...of high school aged hippies. Now I'm not saying the music was bad, because he was AMAZING on the guitar and with the mixer (or whatever it's called). It just wasn't for me. I can't really say why.

Finally, walked over to see Rusted Root open. Saw them last year and loved them. Same this year. We stayed for a few songs, but then left. I would have liked to stay longer, but B. had to work the next day and it was already past bedtime.

We're going back on Sat. (N you're invited of course) to see Marcella (friend of Brad's is in it). Then S and I are seeing Live and B is going to see maybe Guster, maybe the Old 97's.

Bueller....Bueller....

2007-07-03T15:16:00.000-05:00

is it worthwhile keeping this blog? is anybody stopping by to read it anymore? i post so infrequently...i wonder...

umm...did i know about this?

2007-06-28T12:20:00.000-05:00

Is B. keeping secrets from me? When did he start his blog? Did he tell me and I just forgot? Why do I suddenly feel in the dark about things....is he keeping other things from me?

Wedding planning

2007-06-28T12:12:00.000-05:00

As mentioned, we have a site. And a date.

Looking at photographers. Have it narrowed down to about 5 or 6 and are starting to meet with them the week of July 9.

Starting to look at DJ's, too. Not as easy to eliminate.

Beauty-wise...sounds like I'm SOL with eyeshadow...see, I have contact dermatitis on my eyelids, so any eye makeup makes them red and itchy and puffy and sometimes scaley. I can try Almay...they're hypoallergenic. Bare Escentuals has also been recommended. Maybe Bare Minerals? Skin care needs work. Want laser removal of acne scars on my chin and eyebrows. Probably too expensive. Also want teeth whitening...more likely will happen. Friends with my dentist. Would like straighter teeth, but that may have to wait. Lastly, started South Beach diet again. I really slipped on food this past 6 months...need to lose that weight (plus a little extra). Starting with the diet, then when I get off my lazy ass I'll exercise too.

Wedding dress shopping in August. Styles posted later.

Kitties

2007-06-28T12:09:00.000-05:00

Very bitchy and demanding this summer.

Isis wants to go outside all the time. ALL THE TIME.

Athena just won't leave you alone. She's been slowly clearning off my bedside table by knocking things on the floor. Also, she likes changing the time on my clockradio, as well as hitting the sleep button to turn it on. But when she sleeps at my head at night...she's too cute.

Surgeries

2007-06-28T12:04:00.000-05:00

Dad had last brain surgery on Tuesday. Went even better than the first one. A bit shorter, less prodding around. He goes home today to recover. Then gets one last surgery on July 6 to install the batteries.

Dad has Parkinson's...has had it for about 10 years. Lots of stiffness, not too bad with tremors. So he was accepted for Deep Brain Stimulation...in which they implant two electrodes into some subhypothalamic region. They get hooked up to batteries, and the electrodes should help to stimulate some nerves that have stopped working. Supposed to really improve things.

He'll have to stay another week in the hospital sometime later in July while they coordinate his meds with the stimulation. Nevertheless, the worst is over.

Changes in the works...

2007-06-28T11:54:00.000-05:00

I realized I have at least 3 yahoo ID's. I'm convinced there's one more; at least there used to be. But either I deleted it already, or I just don't have the right password yet. Still. One of those ID's is now deleted. I'm trying to delete another, but Yahoo is being difficult about it. That should leave me with one ID...which is all I need.

Yahoo Photos is closing shop, so I needed to open a flickr account. Not such a bad thing, really. I can understand why L. has so many photos to go through...I don't have that many, and yet I still have over 200. I guess they accumulate when you're not looking.

Closed my geocities website. Looking for a good host for another, maybe. Opened an account with Brad through freewebs. MediaGeeks... but we haven't done anything with it. Do I want my own? If I do, which site to host it?

n....help!

2007-04-27T20:14:00.001-05:00

this page needs some fixin'!

THANK YOU!

2007-04-18T21:02:00.000-05:00

thank you thank you thank you! our ears have been saved from the ravage of sanjaya!

...i'm not perfect people!

2007-02-08T22:33:00.000-06:00

they expect me to be perfect the first time around. the teacher who taught it last year. the administration ("oh no, we understand you're still learning..." bullshit). the freakin' students. some colleagues. can i help it that i'm teaching an overload and have little time to plan? can i help it that most things i plan are planned the night before? can i help it that i don't use every trick from every one of my 50 how-to-teach books in every lesson? can i help it that i barely have lessons? can i help it that i thought i made a supersaturated solution of cupric sulfate, but it was really undersaturated (but all the solid wasn't completely dissolved!) and i accidentallly dissolved your lovely seed crystals? can i help it that i'm not as tough as the new first year teachers? i need to quit this profession.

ceremony and reception site booked!

2007-02-04T21:23:00.002-06:00

wedding: august 9, 2008

site: sweet sophies in waunakee.

changes

2007-02-04T21:23:00.001-06:00

until n can maybe design something prettier for me.

What a blind semi driver can do

2006-11-11T15:58:00.000-06:00

Halloween Time

2006-10-27T09:01:00.000-05:00

Halloween Party Info

pout

2006-09-12T21:27:00.000-05:00

You really, really, really, really can't get out of it?

earth rocks!

2006-07-27T18:29:00.000-05:00

i have just been stripped of my biology teaching duties this year to bring the wonderful delights of Earth Science to 6 classes of students this fall. YIPEE!!!

Quick Updates

2006-07-20T20:31:00.000-05:00

End of School Year: Very happy. Looking forward to next year, kind of. Will be teaching Biology, Life Science, and Environmental Science. Somehow.

Summer: Nothing too exciting. Working at Sylvan for extra gas cash. Taking online class - Astronomy for Teachers - through Montana State. Easy class for 3 grad. credits. Getting ready to move to a new apt - two blocks away. Spending time with the children (kitties). Would like to get a third. Brad says no way in hell. Went to Summerfest with SB and her boyfriend. Saw Pat McCurdy (Monkey Paw, Sex and Beer) and Rusted Root. Saw "Zox" while waiting for Rusted Root - not too bad. Went to Bastille Days and saw "Thomas Lane", ate good food - ham and butter sandwich, chocolate fudge crepe, beignets, - overheard BBVD, but got tired so didn't stay for their 9 pm show. Saw Boze get married to CS. Very casual and nice wedding. Met SE's beau J.

August: Summoned for Jury Duty on the 9 and 10. I know it's a civic duty and the whole trial in front of peers is important...but I have so many other things I could be doing than sitting in a courthouse waiting to be called to a jury for two days. I only get $19 per day...as opposed to the $50+ I would make at Sylvan. No free lunch either. Free bus tickets and free beverages. Yipee.

New Apt: Two blocks away - easy move. Need new things. Kitchen table and chairs. End tables to match new coffee table (N - do you want our old coffee table?). Storage bins to organize like on Clean House. New flatware organizer. New 14" tv for office (decent deals on flat screen tube tv's - yes, they distinguish them as tube tv's now). Slip cover for couch that Athena keeps scratching up. DSL/Cable router that is both MAC and PC compatible (printer server included?) - any suggestions? CNET users recommend an SMC one. New bathroom set - shower curtain (cat-hair proof?), towels (Fieldcrest - nice and big, good quality at low price), bathmat, sink accessories(?). Scratch mat for bedroom doorway.

School Year: Need lots of new clothes. Shopping online this year. Have some extra money. We're deciding not to go to Hawai'i. To expensive for only a couple days that we'll be able to go (wedding's in February).

Wedding: Still planning for Madison in Aug/Sept/Oct 2008. Monona Terrace? B needs to talk to parents about $$$. Certainties: no bouquet/garter toss; both parents walking down aisle; bridesmaids get to pick out own dresses (long length, red color); groom/groomsmen wearing suits; theme will involve red-black-white and circles. Webpage: http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/view/co_main.aspx?coupleid=099110595918944

2006-05-30T21:37:00.000-05:00

3 more days of class, then 3 days of finals. then summer break. but i'll be going back again in september, since no other place wants me. and really, the bad things outweigh the good things at this school...grrr.

Here. Alive.

2006-04-06T17:18:00.000-05:00

okay, i am alive. i promise. it's just that...well...my life is kinda boring right now. and i can only complain about my school district so much. and i can only talk about the furry terrors at home so much. and my mind is busy planning rather than thinking about deep thoughts. so...um, that's where i am right now.

dear a-

2006-01-19T21:16:00.000-06:00

remember the good ole days when writing to each other was more than occassional. we were both younger. i suppose college/university allowed us more time to sit and find excuses not to do work. there were tapes and pictures and little booklets of handwritten letters. it was something to look forward to in an otherwise banal existance. and then the schooling ended and life began. we drifted. less writing. no photos. no tapes. we had come to a continental divide and i went one direction, you the other. there were jobs and boys and girls. now there are jobs and bills and fiances and secret marriages. ah...there's the heart of it...there was no shame in sharing secrets. i, at least, needed that purging.

and we continue to grow and move on. i miss those old days, but know that life changes and people change and grow and move on. it would still be fun to meet sometime. sometime.

2005-12-25T14:24:00.000-06:00

*sparkle sparkle*

*sparkle link*

halloween - calling for photos

2005-11-15T16:23:00.000-06:00

brad and i have only a few photos from the party. if anyone has some, please share!

i hope everyone had a good time. I had been quite stressed the week before and the week of the party, so I really let loose and had 4 drinks in about an hour and a half. So, after barely parying attention to the first movie, I needed to visit mr. sink (since the porcelain god was occupied). Then I pretty much missed the Treehouse of Horror and the second movie.

No one spent the night, so obviously they didn't drink enough. There must be more drinking next year...are we all getting too old???

Dear N.,

2005-11-01T20:57:00.000-06:00

Screw you! I've got planning to do. I've got a week's worth of grading to do. I've got labs to set up. I've got strategies to think of. I've got meetings to go to. I've got an F'in awesome party to plan and prepare for. I've got 20-30 things to bake for Saturday (any help is appreciated...from ANYONE!). I've got a few decorations to make. I've got a shit-load of cleaning to do. Fucking posting on my blog IS THE LAST THING I NEED TO DO!!!

*Posted with a tinge of sarcasm*

aw shucks.

2005-10-14T23:26:00.000-05:00

You are none of them! But you're not Mr./Miss
perfect.

Which Of the 7 Deadly Sins Are You?
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Yeah, that's me

2005-10-14T23:20:00.000-05:00

You are the goddess of the air:You are very open
minded about things and don't mind trying to
see things in other people's perspectives.When
you get out of line you make sure you make your
point so other people listen to you.

What type of goddess are you???????WITH BEAUTIFUL(AND I MEAN BEAUTIFUL) PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Stress Reliever?

2005-10-14T23:16:00.000-05:00

You're Exotic Dancer Barbie. You have some moves,
and will do anything for a few bucks. Take it
off girl, but keep it PG-13 please.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
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on stress

2005-10-03T05:40:00.000-05:00

me....all about me. tired. infected. stressed. me.

Reflections on the first week...

2005-09-08T22:03:00.000-05:00

So the first full week is almost over. I really need to work on getting up a bit earlier in the morning. Otherwise, it's okay.

My 1st and 5th periods are awesome. 2nd and 8th have something to be desired. 6th is bad. They're just talkative! And won't listen! Need to research some creative classroom management techniques. And re-do seats (although it doesn't help when the students randomly get up and walk across the room to talk to someone). Creative classroom management. Creative classroom...bah, detentions! D'oh! Creative...classroom...management. Grrrrr....

BTW, I have 4 "9 Lab Science" classes and 1 "9 Science Survey" class. Survey is remedial. Guess which is my 6th hour...WRONG! It's my freaking 9 Lab students. Bastards.

2005-08-25T15:52:00.000-05:00

So I know most towns have a "Martin Luther King Jr." street, but how many have a "Sam Johnson Parkway"? Racine does. Hehe.

why do crappy things happen to people made from the finest stuff on earth?

2005-08-23T19:10:00.000-05:00

M.A., Brad's former roommate from freshman and sophomore year, and fellow theatre member who was fond of Nuthouses, was mugged this weekend. He was biking home from work, I think, and some punks threw a bike at him to knock him off. They punched him up good, and stole his money and bike. The next biker that came by was a cop-on-bike, luckily. But all that was recovered was M's bike. The punks got away. Fuckers. Now M. has a broken collar bone and can't do much moving. Brad and I are going to treat him to a Simpson's night this week. If anyone is local and wants to join us, let us know. If anyone wants his e-mail, also let us know.

fun night

2005-08-22T00:10:00.000-05:00

ever have to clean up cat puke in your car at midnight on a sunday/monday? good times, good times.

fair, pain, depression

2005-08-13T17:56:00.000-05:00

brad and i went to the state fair yesterday and had a great time! i had a venison burger, he had an elk burger. we both got our corn on the cob dripping with butter and our ice cream sundaes from the Real Dairy booth. I bought some orange blossom honey, and taste tested other varieties of honey. we saw one round of pig races and saw the bunnies (note: polish are cute!) and baby animals and prize winners that will be slaughtered (ironically, right next to the babies...meh, circle of life). brad had his elephant ear and i had my saz's sour cream and chives fries. we had sore sore feet, saw amar, took the sky glide back to the gate and five hours after arriving, left. no cream puffs, though. i'm not a big fan. oh! and we saw llamas and alpacas and they were totally awesome!

so last night and today i am in total pain. i have a huge knot in my left shoulder blade that's radiating down my left arm and up the left side of my neck. to say the least, i am quite uncomfortable.

and as i continue to read the sexual exploits on peachy, i continue to get depressed. i haven't had many exciting ones at all, especially in college, when you're supposed to. i wish i'd been a bit more slutty then. sigh.

Dilemma

2005-08-11T19:15:00.000-05:00

so do i go to the cluster reunion or not? Hairplane is playing...HAIRPLANE is playing! besides my former crush on bz, there are former chamberlin rat friends in it...like sg and bz and....the biology guy....

maybe i'll just go that night.

and what's up with that comment "see why the phi psi house is gone and arts coop is back..." that's kinda mean to the phi psi alums, i think. wasn't it current idiots that caused the fiasco?

Happy Birthday Baby Kitty Girl!

2005-08-08T20:40:00.000-05:00

Awww...

2005-08-07T23:05:00.000-05:00

Aren't they just adorable? Of course, this was taken 5 seconds before Athena began biting and scratching Isis. Isis fought back. And probably won (big bully cat).

settling in...

2005-08-07T22:12:00.000-05:00

so we're in and most of the boxes are unpacked and their contents are mostly put in their correct places. i think the kitchen was the first room officially completed. everything else is still being worked on. but the empty box pile is growing! yay! the cats are moved in and isis has been perking up a bit, which is good. she became a bit depressed when we got athena. now she can explore all tne nooks and crannies of the new place. i think athena even gave her lessons on how to open cabinets. speaking of the devil, athena is just as bad as ever, but you can't help at her ignorant happy-go-lucky attitude about all the naughty things she does. persistently curious.

we've bought only a few new things, mostly to replace old things. a new bookshelf which was only $25 at kmart now houses our stereo and star wars legos collection. i bought a wireless keyboard and mouse cause i'm absolutely sick of all the cords associated with a computer. my computer speakers finally crapped out, but luckily i had the original ones that came with the computer. so, they are decent until i have enough money to get nice replacements. oh, and i bought giant pencil cups for the infinite supply of writing utensils that i own. i promise...no more buying of pens or pencils until, well, until something really cool comes along.

other random thoughts...

the accident lawyer add on tv that says "we don't expect accidents to happen..." um, sure you don't. that's why you're accident lawyers.

i spilled superglue on the pants i'm wearing. it was fun trying to unstick them from my flesh. at least it was just a little spot.

brad has new pillows to replace the ones he's had since...maybe high school? can't imagine what's growing in them. eww...

guess that's it for now...more to come as i think about it.

Last night, today

2005-07-29T12:38:00.000-05:00

got drunk last night...almost died laughing from MXC...woke up every hour on the hour to pee and drink more water...also woke up several times from several frightening, yet nonsensical dreams...

went shopping this morning...got my dress for halloween! got gatorade for the electrolites...got cleaning supplies...got stitch bubble blower for the cats (gonna put those catnip bubbles in it!)...got a new broom for indoors...

back home, ready for a nap!

2005-07-26T14:03:00.000-05:00

packing...bleugh

head cold...bleugh

rainy weather...drool

Stuff on moving

2005-07-18T14:51:00.000-05:00

okay, so we're going to have a new address soon. and a new phone number, since they can't let us keep our current one for some reason. but cell phone numbers will stay the same and e-mail address (but i guess brad's using his g-mail account now instead of yahoo). my yahoo and alum accounts still work. so, yeah.

New Template

2005-07-11T21:09:00.000-05:00

Anyone seeing problems with this template? Like the side bar being way down at the bottom?

Kitties

2005-07-06T16:01:00.000-05:00

This is Athena, the new kitty.

This is Athena with Isis.

Isis is still a little territorial and still growls a little at the new kitty. And sometimes hisses. But she's doing much better. They can actually be in the same room together now. But have to be supervised. Go figure.

and then i remembered this...

2005-06-30T07:47:00.000-05:00

BSHP

Hooray for Spain

2005-06-30T07:33:00.001-05:00

Uniones Espanoles

2005-06-30T07:33:00.000-05:00

Dear Tom Cruise,

Please shut up and go into hiding.

A.

jobby jobs

2005-06-24T11:58:00.000-05:00

I have a new job. I will be teaching in Racine. I will be teaching science. And that's about all I know at this point. I don't know what classes I will teach. I don't know at which school I will be teaching. I know I have a good chance at the Earth Science position, which would be good. But it's not certain. I may not know until the beginning of August. Yay. But I can teach anything from Earth Science to Biology (I was approved for certification!), physical science, and anything inbetween. But they bumped me up two spots on the salary schedule, because I'm apparently a hard-to-fill position. Go me!

Brad has a temporary job through Manpower. He will be working for a year or so for Northwestern Mutual, doing "data conversion," which is just a catch phrase for any generic computer work they have laying around. But it pays $11/hour, which will help him get out of debt. Which is good. He'll be making some films on the side to build up his resume, too. Go him!

to write...

2005-06-24T09:25:00.000-05:00

pretty blogs, job, b job, candy cane

life, the universe, and everything (42)

Photos

2005-06-09T10:11:00.000-05:00

Watson and McGrew Wedding

Wedding and Stuff

2005-06-01T11:30:00.000-05:00

The weekend was great! I enjoyed seeing new and old faces alike. I have edited our digital photos and will be posting them sometime this week. Photos from the regular cameras won't be up for probably a month.

Job searches are going excellent as I finalize a position with Racine schools and Brad finalizes a managerial level position with a local movie theatre (until something better comes along, of course).

If all goes well, we will be having a move out/move in party around July 31/August 1 as we switch apartments. Pizza and beer will be provided.

Until later....

updates

2005-05-24T09:34:00.000-05:00

okay...i'm calmer and cooler...

it looks like i may have a job in racine. which means b and i will move to oak creek...where we found a much larger apartment for much less money...so there may be a moving party around august 1st...but we need to apply for the place first...and i need to confirm my job in racine first.

2005-04-27T19:18:00.000-05:00

i don't care what anyone fuckin' says...i'm NEVER going to get a teaching job...i'm carrying bad baggage and bad karma. it's just not fair...i've tried so hard to overcome my obstacles, but all any district is going to see is my stupid baggage and my incompetence. i don't know what i'm going to do now. i'm too depressed to even do anything. i don't think i can move on. i'm stuck in the mud, immobile. why even finish my biology credits? why do anything?

unlucky

2005-04-18T15:13:00.000-05:00

i'd like to be lucky for once...like in the winning a prize sense. i'm already lucky with many things, but the only prize i have ever won was a bottle of soda (yeah, it was a look under the cap game). but that doesn't really count. i want to win...$20 in the lottery or $50 at bingo or blackjack...or publisher's clearinghouse...or sallie mae's $25,000 towards my student loans...or the uwm bookstore's 60-second stuff a backpack game.

can't i win something big? please?

or just how about that job in oconomowoc?

i wonder...

2005-04-18T15:10:00.000-05:00

i wonder what it feels like to be beautiful? is it prideful? is it sinful? does it cover all of the 7 deadliest? or is it shameful? embarrassing? well, i would like to know at some point what it feels like to have nice sparkling eyes that are well shaped, not too close or small or have stupid eczema on the eyelids. what it would feel like to have clean clear skin with a nice undertone, not too pink. what it would feel like to have a nice sloping nose, not a hideous bumpy one. to have a nice hair line and nice hair that will do things. to have a good decent in shape body with a round but tight butt. oh, what would it be like?

some days are better than others

2005-04-11T15:54:00.000-05:00

and some days are just shitty.

This weekend was pretty fun. good times had by all, including the kitty.

Today is crappity crap crap. crap. i have never felt this drowsy before, except maybe after taking Nyquil. Forgot my meds this morning..maybe that's why. Skipped two classes. feeling tired and dizzy and i just want to go home but i stayed at the library to get some articles for a stupid ass gene transfer lab write up report and of course they don't have any of the articles i want and i missed the 3:44 bus so now i have to wait til fucking 4:40 cause they don't schedule the buses nicely and the ride will take forever because the Brewer's home opener today and is supposed to finish around rush hour which means everyone will be on teh damn freeway at once and i'm sad and depressed and crabby and angry and moody and just want to curl up with my kitty on my bed and go sleepy!

is that too much to ask?

adventure

2005-04-01T21:55:00.000-06:00

so we're chillin', listening to the iPod as we drive to campus. i'm getting carsick...happens sometimes, just needed air. we drive drive drive...drive along the freeway...drive along the lakefront...drive up the hill to campus. and we find a nice parking spot..don't even have to parallel to get in, just need to pull in behind the other car...just need to SLOW DOWN and pull in behind the other car...just need to SLOW DOWN BRAD AND WATCH OUT FOR THAT F***IN CURB and pull in behind the other car. well, we pulled in behind the other car...after doing some major damage to the curb with my front passenger side tire. i nearly hit the roof of the car...poor shocks...he didn't mean to hurt you like that. so, we look incase the curb did damage back. and it did...a nice 3-inch gash in my new tire...unrepairable gash...in my new tire. we do our campus stuff: get food, wait for brad to make sound recordings for a project. we go back to the car and put the spare on. get advice from my mom to go to bayshore mall - much closer than brookfield or greenfield, and there's a sear's auto center. we drive carefully and slowly to bayshore...lots of tailgaters (but i was driving the speed limit). sears says "sorry, none in stock....brookfield has two." not looking forward to driving all the way out to brookfield on a spare, since can't really take the freeway at top speed, best not to take it at all (too much construction at this time...bad for the spare). take capitol drive from glendale to brookfield...long long drive. got to the mall, got my tire taken care of. told me i needed a coolent flush...sure, why the hell not, it's only another $70. brad pays for $50 of the total cost, i pay the rest. come home and crash asleep. at least i found some gray socks.

Exile

2005-03-24T12:13:00.000-06:00

Myst III

Finally works on my computer.

Deliciously addicting, yet painfully depressing. I love the challenge, but it makes me so depressed to see my complete lack of logic/intelligence.

a typical conversation...

2005-03-03T11:23:00.000-06:00

A: Hi Isis!
I: Sqeak (hi)
A: How's it goin'?
I: Mew (fine)
A: That's good.

A gets food.

I: Meow meow? (Is that for me?)
A: Sorry Isis, this is mommy's food.
I: Meow? (Can I have some, please?)
A: Sorry Isis.

A finishes breakfast. I becomes hypercat.

I: Chirp. Chirp. (I'm hyper)
A. There goes hypercat.
I: (a series of mews in staccato - uninteligible)
A: (to B) Watch out, she's hyper.

2005-02-16T14:04:00.000-06:00

i'm having no fun...no fun at all. not that i need to be having fun all the time, but it's at least good to be in pleasant spirits. and i'm not. i'm miserable. i hate those little tiny bacteria and viruses that get into your system and wreak havoc on it. blah. my nose is raw red...and it won't stop leaking. i'm sleepy, but the ways of the world make me come down to campus and pretend to learn, when all i'm really thinking is "only 6 more hours before the bus comes". then i have to go buy more theraflu...then i need to sleep sleep sleep. and of course i'm missing out on some good subbing days. but i'd rather be miserable at home with my still swollen-lipped kitten than being more miserable by trying to control freshmen brats.

blah.

sunny?

2005-02-09T07:39:00.000-06:00

You are the Sun card. The light of the Sun reveals
all. The Sun is joyful and bright, without fear
or reservation. The childish nature of the Sun
allows you to play and feel free. Exploration
can truly take place in the light of day when
nothing is hidden. The Sun's rays fill you with
energy so that you may live life to its
fullest, milking pleasure out of each day. Such
joy and energy can bring wealth and physical
pleasure. To shine in the light of day is to
have confidence, to soak up its rays is to feel
the freedom of a child. Image from: Stevee
Postman. http://www.stevee.com/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Some more names...

2005-02-03T13:17:00.000-06:00

Isisiles Kitty
The Kitty of Isissi
Purrball

A few notes...

2005-01-27T19:00:00.000-06:00

Classes started this week. Meditation/Relaxation will be nice. Evolutionary Bio will be nice, but my prof isn't a stimulating lecturer. Bio 152 will be easy for the first half, when I re-learn all the animal phyla (um, didn't I do this in high school bio, Zoology with Craigy, and both Paleo classes with Carl?). Then I get to learn new things with plants. Dropped Astronomy already, cause I really don't need it, plus I finally got into Bio 104 (basic botany). So, I get to learn about plants now, which is good, cause I don't know about them.

No longer at that shitty old navy job. Tutoring for Sylvan learning center...much better. And still Substituting, when I can fit it in.

Oh, and more kitty photos!

Isis Part Deux

Enjoy!

Games and Names

2005-01-13T11:58:00.000-06:00

Favorite Games: Catch, Destroy the Newspaper, Get the mousey on the scratching post, beg for people food, attack the moving thing under the bed, becoming stealth cat, trying to fit into daddy's boot, what's in mommy's purse?

Nicknames: nuzzle nut, nuzzle butt, baby kitty girl, stealth cat, hypercat, agouti cutie

oh, and she's really smart. she learns very quickly. like, how to play catch and what the word "no" means.

The one that lived...

2005-01-07T10:56:00.000-06:00

Isis...looks like Cleo, but much younger and healthier. She's 6 months old, and very co-dependent. Need to find a way to break that overdependency. But she's cute and healthy and she chirps and she squeaks (mews) and she likes to play...hyperactively...and i taught her to play catch and she likes chasing the moving things under the bed sheets and she plays with her hanging mousey-guys...and she naps a lot.

Isis

A few more Halloween Photos

2005-01-07T10:54:00.000-06:00

They've finally trickled in...see the bride in action, and then everyone pooping out for the night.

Photos

CD Condensation

2005-01-02T10:11:00.000-06:00

Well, first it was the books. Then it was the movies. And now B and I have finally joined our CD collection. Now, that's love and commitment.

So...here are the extras we have, after offering them to the family first. If you're interested, let me know. All I would charge is shipping (assuming you can't pick them up yourself).

Burned Copies:
Sting: Brand New Day
U2: Unforgettable Fire
U2: Pop
Swingers Soundtrack
Swing Kids Soundtrack
Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil Soundtrack
Fantasia Soundtrack (not complete)
The Smiths: Best vol. 1
Pink Martini: Sympathique
indigo gilrs: Shaming of the sun
Dire Straits: money for nothing
Cherry Poppin' Daddies: Kids on the Street

Originals:
U2: Under a Blood Red Sky
U2: Rattle and Hum
U2: Achtung Baby
U2: War
The Crow Soundtrack
Empire Records Soundtrack
Bryan Adams: So Far so good
Live: throwing Copper
Batman Forever SOundtrack
Sublime: Sublime
Oasis: What's the Story Morning Glory
Jewel: Pieces of You
Smashing Pumpkins: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (second disk only)

That's it...I'm through...

2004-12-20T13:05:00.000-06:00

...with exams. aced cell biology somehow. passing limnology and genetics.

...with old navy. the final straw fell, and now that poor camel's back is broken. last day will be january 23, right before spring semester starts. enough time for me to look for something else. tutoring is at the top of my list (see, subbing i can only do 2-3 days a week during the semester. i need something i can do at night and on weekends). other possibilities: museum store, pet stores, arts/craft stores. other tolerable retail ideas?

...with registering for spring semester. taking bio 152 (botony), evolutionary bio, astronomy, and intro to relaxation.

...with christmas shopping. two milwaukee calendars for b's parents were the last two. just need to make one or two more batches of caramels and one batch of pralines.

...with this post.

the way I see it...

bizzare

sinking...

me...

Surfacing?

Obsession Subsided...mostly...

EEK!

Wedding

Iowa

The big picture

Maslow

Need to meet some new people

echo....

quiet in bloggerland

snow day #4

egad

Sounds right

my cats love me

Feeling Stoopid

Feeling Left Out

I mean, really people.

wedding to-do's

so, what if i change my mind?

HP7 - Finished!

potter personality

grumble grumble...

wedding planning

new ink

*giggle*...kitty!

Your Score: Lion Warning Cat75% Affectionate, 68% Excitable, 46% Hungry

Videos and More!

Summerfest :)

Bueller....Bueller....

umm...did i know about this?

Wedding planning

Kitties

Surgeries

Changes in the works...

n....help!

THANK YOU!

...i'm not perfect people!

ceremony and reception site booked!

changes

What a blind semi driver can do

Halloween Time

*pout*

earth rocks!

Quick Updates

Here. Alive.

dear a-

halloween - calling for photos

Dear N.,

aw shucks.

Yeah, that's me

Stress Reliever?

on stress

Reflections on the first week...

why do crappy things happen to people made from the finest stuff on earth?

fun night

fair, pain, depression

Dilemma

Happy Birthday Baby Kitty Girl!

Awww...

settling in...

Last night, today

Stuff on moving

New Template

Kitties

and then i remembered this...

Hooray for Spain

jobby jobs

to write...

Photos

Wedding and Stuff

updates

unlucky

i wonder...

some days are better than others

adventure

Exile

giggle...kitty!

Your Score: Lion Warning Cat
75% Affectionate, 68% Excitable, 46% Hungry

pout